Learning Curve

We are continuing to learn SO much as we move forward in the adoption process…

• Learning statistics about need, disease and poverty.

• Realizing social injustice is real and not comprised of clear-cut black and white issues/solutions.

• Discovering that we have held our own misconceptions and biases.

• Gathering information about parenting orphaned children and addressing their special needs.

• Learning that their needs are deep and wide - emotional, spiritual, physical, medical, social, etc. (As we speak, I am signed up for a class called Braids, Curls, Twists and Twirls : A How-To for Natural Black Hair Care – because my sweet children will need to look presentable! :))
  

Perhaps I should start with a simple style...
and not this adorable heart braid!

And in addition to processing all of this external information, I am examining myself. Because I have a lot to work on!

I’m a “doer”. I don’t like to talk about things for long… I don’t want to chit-chat while we could be taking action. I want to come up with a few possible solutions and then pick one. Jump in. ACT. DO something about it!

That complicates this whole adoption process… because you are constantly bombarded with information that is not actionable! One day there’s a rumor that adoption laws may change… Another day you find out your paperwork is delayed… Then you read someone’s adoption horror story… then you read a truly positive and inspirational story… Then you get information on a specific child outside of your homestudy parameters… Then you read about parenting techniques, but you don’t have an adopted child yet to parent!... Then another article surfaces about more changes in the process… etc. etc.  

So, I’m addressing my do-er tendencies and understanding that within this process (and really all of life), I've got to truly dig deep and rely on the Lord… Many times no other action is necessary other than prayer. He’ll fight our battles for us. He’ll work things out for the good of those who love him…. So frustrating to feel paralyzed sometimes, but SO TRUE!

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Another piece of my self-discovery? I’m transparent. I don’t want to hide whatever I’m going through. I want to be open about it - real – sincere - genuine. I want to share what I am learning. I want to talk it through with people and know that I have their support.

This is also an area of complication for me in the adoption journey… because my future kids may NOT be comfortable with transparency. They will be joining our family without a say… and at an age where they do not yet fully know their own story. Being a part of our family will hopefully be a positive part of their story, but joining our family is not the beginning OR end of their story… and one day it will be THEIR choice to share or not share… Because they may have something heavy to reconcile. They may not want to be labeled or judged for something. They may not be ready to own every piece of their history.

So as we move forward, I’m starting to check myself. To make sure I’m not sharing what is not mine to share… boundaries will need to be set. Information made for our family only. It’s a balance that I am learning… and ask that you respect the boundaries if a time comes when we “clam up.” 

Oh… there is so much more learning to be done… would love to hear what you are learning in your stage of life, as well!