This week has been difficult for me mentally.
My head is just full to the brim of adoption stuff. I don’t even know how to
explain it adequately to those of your not immersed in this world… because I
know from the outside it must sound like, “so what, you have some paperwork to
keep up with?”
The strain comes from the extensive (and always
changing) paperwork across multiple states, agencies and countries that all
have different requirements and requests. So my head is full of hundreds of
adoption details that I need to track and ensure are up to date and filed
properly… and we are now at a point where our previous home study has expired –
so we need new home visits, new financial records, new medical tests, new
fingerprints, updated backgrounds at the local, state, federal levels, etc. My
head is also swimming with the details, requirements, fees and changes
associated with possibly switching programs.
So while there is this building pressure and
rush of obligatory action in my head, my heart is still waiting. Waiting to see
the child(ren) that will join our family. Waiting for just one tiny bit of info. My head is running and my heart is at a stand still…
This clash between the rush of my head and
the anticipation of my heart makes me feel a bit crazy and emotional. So if you see me and I'm in a fog, please understand and know that my brain should return soon. J (A shout out to Chad for being steady as a rock… and my God who
is THE rock!)
Do not let yourselves get tired of doing good. If we do not give up, we will get what is coming to us at the right time. Galatians 6:9
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