con·spic·u·ous
adjective
Standing out so as to be clearly visible. Attracting notice or attention.
We are becoming a conspicuous family. We are going to stand out. We're fortunate that others have paved the way... We won't be the first adoptive family or the first biracial family in the area. We've purposely chosen to live in a "diverse" area. (Ok. You can stop giggling now. Yes, I do realize that Midlothian is relatively not all that diverse... but we intentionally chose a neighborhood, school district and church with racial, economic and ethnic diversity as compared to other areas of town.)
I'd like to think that our family will not be all that interesting and no one will pay us much attention. But the reality is that even if the intent is completely innocent, people will give our family a second glance. Chad and I know this. We are consciously signing up for this... but our biological and adoptive kids are not. They don't want to be in the spotlight. (OK, that's not true. Cora will love the attention). Which brings me back to the homework assignment... I need to develop verbal responses to questions and comments that we may encounter in public.
I love the concept of this assignment because I don't like feeling caught off guard. I'd much rather be prepared with talking points. I'm learning that some people take the approach of brushing off strangers' comments with short responses and walking away... Others may make jokes to deflect and move on...
Neither of those approaches fit my personality. I want to take the focus off our kids and bring it back to myself so that they don't feel singled out. I want to be respectful. I want to use these encounters as a chance to inform... to potentially share our faith... ideally to even impart some sort of call to action... But I also don't want to open up a door that gives someone the opportunity to really tell us what they think. :)
Neither of those approaches fit my personality. I want to take the focus off our kids and bring it back to myself so that they don't feel singled out. I want to be respectful. I want to use these encounters as a chance to inform... to potentially share our faith... ideally to even impart some sort of call to action... But I also don't want to open up a door that gives someone the opportunity to really tell us what they think. :)
So I continue to work on this and pray for insight as to the response that will best benefit everyone involved... Maybe one day you'll be with me at the grocery store when I get a comment like "is that your real kid?" and you can hear my response!
If you're in the mood for a little laugh on the subject, take a look at this quick video.
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened...” Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. - 1 Peter 3:14-16
