The Flip Side

A theme in our house lately has been “choosing joy”. We’re trying to help our kids along the path of recognizing their thoughts, taking control of the negative ones and turning them around to something productive or positive… Chad's new teaching point of "only YOU can control your thoughts" rings in our house even after he's left for work each morning. :)

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Philippians 4:8 (Message)

  

As it usually goes, when I try to emphasize a principle with the kids, I start to notice how often I don’t model my own teachings! For instance, am I choosing joyful thoughts as they relate to our adoption wait?

I've come to a place where it's not forefront in my mind on a day-to-day basis. I’ve accepted it, put it in the “it’s out of my control” part of my brain, and don’t dwell. I'm at peace with it each morning... BUT as some days progress it's brought to my attention a few too many times. 

Side note: On a drive last week, Asher spontaneously yelled from the backseat, “I can’t wait to meet my brother. I want it to be NOW! I am so tired of waiting that I’d be OK with meeting my sister first, as long as it could be NOW!” :)

Although in various forms, “when” is the most frequent question we are asked. How much longer til XYZ? When do you expect to know more? How long has it been since you started the process? When will they come home? What is taking so long?? 

I answer the questions and downcast feelings seep in.

So lately I’m trying to practice what I’m preaching to the kids... focusing on the flip side of what appears to be a depressingly long wait. Is there a positive?

Yes! 

I’m seeing it in Asher and Cora. They have had so much time to adjust to this concept that was originally foreign to them. We’ve never had to sit them down with a big awkward “announcement.” This is something that entered into our family’s language years ago and become part of our dialogue. Their questions are being answered, at their own pace when they think to ask them. Changes to their bedrooms, lifestyle, etc. are gradual. We’re not rushed in making preparations, so we have time to get their input and follow through on their ideas. Their hearts are growing and they’re becoming more and more interested in finding ways to love on and share with others. And probably most importantly, they’re getting to squeak out a little more undivided attention from Chad and I. :)

It warms my heart every time Asher
rips photos off of our fridge and
shows them to people saying,
“this is my brother/sister!”

And it amuses me to no end that
Cora has informed every cashier
in the Midlothian area that
we are buying things for her
sister who lives in Africa.

Careless in the Care of God

I read a statistic recently that has been lingering with me:

• 33% of Americans consider adoption.
• 79% of those are concerned about the costs, the biggest deterrent.
• Less than 2% adopt. (From ABBA Fund website)

How sad! I completely understand that adoption isn’t a choice for every family. (Seriously, some days I wonder what in the world we’re doing shaking up our nice, comfortable life.) But it’s disheartening to know that of those who DO have the desire and passion for adoption, only a small percentage follow through.  

So I just want to put this post out there as a spark of encouragement for any of you who have thought about it and been deterred by the expenses… Yes, it IS expensive. You’ll have sticker shock. You’ll get angry when you think about the principle behind the money (i.e., paying for the privilege of making a lifelong commitment to a likely traumatized child…). The unexpected WILL happen and WILL come with a premium… but it IS doable and SO worth it!!

We started this adoption journey during the time when I transitioned away from working outside out home: 

Financial Commitment to Adoption - one income = craziness??? :)

We felt sure that we were supposed to do both of these things… the combination didn’t make sense mathematically, but it made sense in our hearts. It aligned with the vision we have for our family and lifestyle. Most importantly, it was what God undeniably laid on our hearts… and He has been so faithful to us as we have followed Him!

Since the beginning, God has provided for us in ways we would not have expected. I had kind of forgotten how encouraged we felt until I went back and re-read my previous post about it. J

We’ve fundraised… and been overwhelmed by your support.

We’ve applied for grants… and been grateful recipients.

We’ve sold possessions... and haven’t missed a single one of them.

We’ve made lifestyle changes… cut out cable, limited vacations, hung onto older model cars, stopped our lawn service, started buying second hand, etc… and none of these things seem important now that they’re off our radar.

But more than all of that, we are living under God’s blessing. One of the areas we did NOT cut was our tithe and charitable giving… and there’s no way to measure how God blesses that. It comes to us in ways that seem like happenstance or “lucky”, but to add up the sheer volume of these “coincidences” attests to it NOT being a fluke. And almost always, the financial blessing is correlated to a need that we have.

Latest example: This week we will be paying $1200 to cover our kids’ living expenses for the next 6 months in Africa. (Yes, you read that right. It is only $100/month to shelter, feed, clothe and education one child. $100. I can think of a long list of things I’ve spent $100 on that are nowhere near as significant.) Yesterday we received a refund on our mortgage and a note that our monthly payment is decreasing. The EXACT amount of the change? $1200. Perfect!

The school our kids will be attending...

  

Of all of our concerns and anticipated challenges related to this adoption, the financial worries are lowest on our list. The money works itself out every time… but what is more significant to us than the actual dollar amounts is the timing and manner in which our provision comes. God is showing us again and again how much we matter to Him... and we can rest careless in His care...

 “You can’t worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you’ll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can’t worship God and Money both. If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.” Matthew 6:24-26