We
started our adoption journey the summer of 2013. But really it started long
before that, because God had stirred out hearts towards adoption over 10 years prior.
And I can look back even further to see seeds planted when I was as young as a
child. So we had come to the point of saying yes, God. We see where you’ve brought
us and where you want us to go – we’re jumping in! We submitted our home study,
added our names to the waiting list for Ethiopia adoptions… And then the
strangest thing happened – crickets. Silence. No movement at all. For over a
year. We were so frustrated with the waiting – but had no idea what waiting was
still to come!
Moving forward with
the adoption was so aligned with our life purpose and calling… and the initial
paperwork went so smoothly. So I had allowed myself to assume the potential hurdles
might not apply. I fall into thinking this way sometimes… I assume if my
motives are kingdom-enhancing or if I’m doing something at God's prompting, it
will be easy. It will come together quickly. But He doesn’t promise us that. Twists
and turns are likely and should be expected. Troubles are guaranteed. I
knew that in my head, but had to truly accept it in my heart.
We walked through some
ups and downs that first year – paperwork issues, policy changes, etc. – and then
Ethiopia halted international adoptions. Around that same time, late in 2014, we started
learning more about another African country where there was no wait list – there were children immediately in needs of homes. So we switched programs and agencies.
In
May 2015, we first heard of our children, a little boy and girl. We really only had their names in
the beginning, but those sweet names were implanted in our hearts. They just
hung with us and we knew they were going to be part of our family. I flew over
to meet them as quickly as possible… which was a challenge
because ebola was rampant in their country. There were safety protocols, lockdowns,
curfews and immigration checks to work through. Those are all crazy stories for
another day! But the trip came together and I spent 3 days putting faces and personalities together with those names.
When
I first met our son, he walked into the room with a huge smile on his face and
just called out, “mama”! I showed him a photo of our family back in the US and
he kissed the picture and said “now I have a brother!” Our daughter was slower to
warm up… She sat on my lap, her body so rigid in fear… and then after
a while she just relaxed and melted back into me… That day, meeting them, was
more than I could have ever imagined.
I flew home with the understanding that in 6 months we could return to
bring them home with us. Six months felt like an eternity, but we had an end
date in sight which made it feel “doable.” Our sweet little middle-of-the-night
babbling phone calls would carry us through. Then six months turned
into 7, then 8, 9… Paperwork was lost, attorneys were replaced, signatures were
re-collected… 9 months turned into 10, 11, 12, 13…
My
emotions were all over the place… I stayed grounded by clinging to scripture.
I would pick a verse and just repeat it to myself over and over. After a while,
a few days or weeks, my anxiety would start to rise and I’d search out a new scripture
on which I could meditate and re-center…
The Lord will
fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus
14:14
Some trust in
chariots and some in horses (or adoption agencies, lawyers, judges,
etc.), but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7
Be strong and have
strength of heart. Do not be afraid... the Lord your God is the One Who goes
with you. He will be faithful to you. He will not leave you.”
"Rejoice in our
confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." - Romans
12:12
And
so on….
Around
month 14, we learned there was a judge who would hear our adoption case. Chad
and I flew back to Africa, together this time. It was his first chance to
meet the kids I had been describing for over a year. It was beautiful - they were so proud to call him their own!
That
first day in-country we went to court expecting to have the adoption finalized…
but it wasn’t immediately granted. It was postponed. Day after day, sitting on
benches in the court house felt never ending. After a full week, Chad had to
fly home to the States and I stayed on.
I
claim many miracles throughout this process, times when it was clear to me that
God intervened and did something supernatural and spectacular on our behalf.
One example is when the adoption was finally granted:
On my
last appearance before the judge, he had become agitated with one of the witnesses
and discovered a misprint on someone’s identification card. The judge abruptly
stopped the session, sent us away and said he’d make a decision the next day. So
there was nothing I could do but pace my hotel room for the next 24 hours and
pray. I got a call the next morning that the judge was expecting myself, the
children and all witnesses from the past 2 weeks to be in attendance
immediately. The kids were not with me – and everyone else was at least an
hour’s drive away. None of us were aware that we were required in court! So I
showed up at the judge’s chambers late, alone, ill prepared and anxious! Just
as I got there, my attorney came walking out of the judge’s chambers, calm and
smiling. The adoption had been granted! The attorney had been discussing the ID
card discrepancy with the judge, and felt an urge to check his own ID. When he
pulled out his card, he saw that it, too, had a misprint regarding his place of
birth. He had never before noticed the error and convinced the judge that these
misprints must not be uncommon and should definitely not hold the children back
from their future. The judge agreed. How absolutely crazy is that? I will NEVER
forget sitting in the facilitator’s car a few moments later. He hit play on a
worship CD while I sat in the back seat bawling. Such awe. Such relief. We remembered
that and drew upon the memory as we moved forward and waited expectantly for
our family to be united.
So
I came home. We were excited, re-energized and ready to makes things happen. We
were now applying for the kids' US visas – the document they need to
physically enter our country. After years of dealing with the unreliability of foreign
governments in third world countries, we would be working with our own
government. This would be the “easy”
part!
We
applied for visas in November 2016… and then the waiting started again.
Unanswered phone calls, form responses to e-mails. 1, 2, 3, 4 months went by
without any information specific to our case. We called the state department, senators,
congressman, immigration officials… We showed up at a congressman’s town hall, tracked
down his aide and sobbed out our story. We had expected to not have a voice in
the adoption proceedings oversees, but how could we not have a voice here, in
our own country? And after all of the miraculous ways God wove the adoption
together, how could we just be left in this unthinkable place – with our kids
separated on two different continents? We hit a low.
5,
6, 7, 8 more months… In August 2017 we received notice that not only were the
kids’ not getting visas, prior approval of our adoption was being revoked. We retained an attorney, gathered a team
of investigators overseas and just dug in. We basically had to reconcile what
the US ideally wants to see in terms of documentation versus what is actually
available in a third world country that has very limited structure, process and
resources. We never imagined we would be in a fight like this. It felt
like a legal battle with our own government. It was an emotional battle to stay
hopeful and not give in to weariness. It was a spiritual battle to always trust
that God is fighting for our family.
