Life in Photos

I make an annual photo book for our family. I slowly piece it together throughout the year so that I can take the time to really enjoy the process. And I can’t tell you how often I look through them. It’s fun to reflect back on the years. And it’s actually helped me fill in memory gaps… especially during Cora’s first year when I was in a fog of sleeplessness. (I sometimes look at a photo in the 2011 time frame and truly not recall the where/what/when of it!)

Our accumulation of books reminds me that this family is established and growing. Chad and I are coming up on our 10 year anniversary! (I'd say something like "where did the time go?" - but I have the photo books to show us! :))

Asher and Cora love the books, too. They flip through and point out every single page. They laugh at funny faces. They replay their favorite stories and ask me to fill in the blanks when they forget a detail. I’m not even sure if their little brains can actually remember the events. I think they’ve seen the pictures so many times that the images, not the memories themselves, have become ingrained in their heads.

Pointing out favorite photos in their books...

Here’s the thing – the other day, I walked into the living room and they were sitting side by side, flipping through the books. I felt an immediate warmth… followed by a sadness… because our adopted kids will not have a similar accumulation of photo books to call their own. We hope to gather as much information as possible to create their own “life books”… books that explain their birth family, culture, and the story of how God brought them to our family. I am praying that their birth family will be willing to meet with us when we visit Ethiopia so that we have details to share with the kids one day. And I’m going to gather up every piece of information that I can while there… This blog will be a part of their life book, too. This is the story of how God spoke to us and led us to them…   

But knowing that they won’t have the full comfort of flipping through their whole history… or maybe wouldn’t even choose to flip through their history because it is painful, saddens me. The millions of memories we make together won’t minimize the ones that aren’t documented or remembered.

So we’ll take as many photos as we can, construct life books and teach them about our God who already knows the story of their lives...

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered.

Psalm 139:15-17

The Need

Chad and I really struggle with the whole economics – “supply & demand” for lack of a more compassionate term - of the adoption process. There is a "high demand" for healthy babies. But other kids, who may be a little bit outside of the majority’s comfort zone, also need families… maybe even more so because they have greater needs than can’t be addressed in an orphanage.... 

Since the beginning, we’ve felt conflicted about this. We wanted to put our name on the “special needs” list… but we hesitated. The adoption process alone is overwhelming. And even the most physically healthy child will come to us with cognitive, emotional and developmental needs… But as time passes and we continue to read and research, we are feeling more confident in our knowledge and understanding of this whole world of orphan care… (I also acknowledge that we probably really don’t know a thing. Afterall, reading the “What to Expect” and Dr. Sears books didn’t really prepare me for the reality of a newborn!) 

There is an unending list of questions and what-ifs for a child coined “special needs.” (And I should pause here to explain that “special needs” in international adoption is WIDE open. This “category” includes disabilities and illnesses, but it also includes sibling sets, certain ages, certain ethnic backgrounds, family histories, high risk groups, etc.…) What accommodations will they need? How will they fit in at school? Will it be difficult to live/treat XYZ? Will they have extra struggles with XYZ? What will their future relationships be like?

But here’s the thought that I keep falling back on: these kids are already on this earth with those needs… so the questions and concerns apply to them with or without us being a part of their lives. The real question, for us, has come down to: can WE handle walking through all of their challenges WITH them. And how can we possibly answer no to that question when we have a God who promises to walk through life WITH US?

So we have expanded our dossier… And we continue to wait and trust…

For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him! - Isaiah 64:4

Bits of Fab

This is such a minor blip on our adoption journey… but I feel encouraged and just wanted to share!

I felt overwhelmed today… just one of those days where things feel a bit out of control and I wanted to have a sense of order… I was waffling with adoption thoughts – should I be reading more? Taking more classes? Learning Amharic? Rearranging the house to make room for a growing family? On and on…

So I decided to distract myself with sewing. I have been making these cute little purses and thought I’d make a few more… so I went up to my scrap fabric bin and grabbed some fun prints and started cutting away.

Seriously, aren't they cute?

MAJOR SIDE NOTE: I’ve got this ongoing craft sale happening on Facebook as a fundraiser to offset adoption expenses. I named it “Bits of Fab” because there’s so much that can be done with “leftover” bits of fabric. Trying to create out of the scraps is a fun challenge! It’s like a puzzle… what can fit in this random piece?? Anyway… back to my primary train of thought... :)

I’m laying down patterns for the purse on the scraps of fabric, making sure I have enough to start the project. And as I’m doing this, I realized I had just enought of the first fabric. So I move onto cutting the next print. And I have just enough of that to make another bag. Literally, JUST ENOUGH. This continued… and I continued to have JUST ENOUGH.

Whew. Thank you, Lord, not just for giving me enough fabric (although that was a nice treat today since Hobby Lobby is closed on Sundays.) Thank you for knowing what I need and making sure I have ENOUGH! I get the message loud and clear. No more worrying for me today…

Matthew 6:30-34 (Message)

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.