Stopping the Madness

I cancelled our newspaper subscription today. Not big news, I know… but I’m feeling proud of myself because I’ve been stalling on pulling the plug. I don’t actually read the paper. I just like perusing ads… especially around the holidays. It's all rooted in fond childhood memories of flipping through the Sears catalog and making Christmas wish lists.

That tradition has been passed along to my kids and each year they take turns flipping through the circulars as Christmas approaches… But why? Just for the fun of it? The tradition?! Because the reality is, I’d rather them not have a never-ending wish list… I want them to learn to be content... To understand the difference between needs and wants… to not be overly influenced by messages of materialism and consumerism.

We’ve been without cable TV for over a year now… We initially did it as a money saver and to cut down on how much TV we watched… the added bonus? No commercials! No longer do I hear sweet little voices repeating tag lines and spelling out website addresses for useless things like pillowpets. Yeah! I'm hoping the lack of store ads has a similar effect!

Side Note: If you're interested in taking little steps to stop the madness, too, check out this link for a great way to change perspective during advent: An Antidote for Holiday Consumerism 

I think about the new kids coming into our house and wonder about the observations they’ll have... “Look at all of these toys! Awesome!” or  “Woah - why so many?” “What in the world do they do with all of this?”  or “They have 18 balls! My friends at my old school were wishing for just one ball...”

More than likely they’ll be overwhelmed. I’m making a mental comparison to how I felt the first time we visited Chuck E Cheese. I believe I was twitching within 30 seconds. Total sensory overload.

And then my mind progresses from a surplus of toys to one of food. What in the world will they think the first time they go to an American grocery store??? From my “first world” perspective, I anticipate that they’ll feel relief at knowing so much food is now accessible to them. I can almost picture them wanting to grab as much as they can… But then I take off my filter and realize that their reaction could likely be very different. They may be confused by the choices, options, variations…  (The cereal aisle, alone, may put them into a panic.) They will be conflicted - why is all of this food here, when the people in my village can’t get enough?

This train of thought reminds me of an impressionable moment on my trip. While sharing dinner one night, we split a large bottle of water between about 10 people, pouring it into individual glasses. My daughter bumped her glass and the water spilled. It was a relatively small amount of water since we had allocated the bottle among so many… and I didn’t really react. Kids spill. It's just water. No big deal. 

The adults at the table immediately jumped up, trying to save some of the water. They chastised her. It was the only time I saw them speak harshly... over spilt water. It slowly sunk in why they were so upset with her - she had just lost a valuable commodity. The one thing not to be wasted… Water.

Later that night I was showing the kids photos of life here. Pictures of our family, house, schools, foods. The kept returning to one particular photo of Asher in our neighborhood splash park. After the water incident earlier in the evening, I was regretting including the photo in the book. There was water on the ground, water in the background, water all over his body. He was playing in an excess of the very thing they ration. They were a bit mesmerized, but mainly confused. I fielded MANY questions over that one picture.

Asher playing in our neighborhood splash park.

The contrast between little vs. much... lacking and excess (like wish lists from Sears catalogs!!)… Accessibility and unavailability… I am no closer to comprehending these disparities than I was months ago… How will these sweet little brains perceive and process it all??? I'm praying that with God's help, they come to know this to be true: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.  1 Corinthians 10:23-24 (NLT)
 

Loving Others

One of my greatest desires is for my kids to be people who care… who give... who empathize… who can step outside of their comfort zone to impact their world.

Both Asher and Cora have a natural desire to be helpful. It’s so sweet to see this part of their personalities. Asher has an innate willingness to bestow gifts and surrender his own possessions. He would empty his pockets without blinking an eye. He gives and gives generously. Cora’s personality is different. Instead of being moved by material need, she sees emotional need. She notices people, observes them in a deeper way. She’ll ask me things like, “why is that person smiling, but their eyes are sad?” She is attentive to people and connects with their emotional state.  

I consider it one of my many jobs to cultivate these gifts in them. I want them to step past caring and into the realm of taking action. It’s one of those things that really can’t be taught verbally. I can’t just command them to care or instruct them to show compassion. It’s deeper than words – it’s something that needs to connect in their sweet little hearts. 

We’ve found opportunities to get them volunteering… Serving dinner at Ronald McDonald Houses, packing lunches for the homeless, buying lunch food for students in need… It’s all good stuff, but they forget so quickly. It’s not enough to drive home the long term message that to whom much is given, much is expected.

The adoption journey is obviously shaping Asher & Cora in this area, as well. To the extent that their little brains can understand, they have a more global perspective than they did before… There's a greater awareness of others' needs... They’re gaining an appreciation for the things they have… And they have an increased passion for helping people. (Of course, they're still kids and sometimes choose to throw a tantrum over sharing something... but I digress. ;))

So I’m learning that the lesson needs to be rooted in more than single, disjointed events where we serve…

-       It’s a mindset that Chad and I have to model every single day.

-       It’s a lifestyle that gives opportunity for them to see outside of our suburban bubble.

-       It’s a schedule with margin that allows us to be available to help when help is needed.

-       It’s the conversations we have and the questions we ask.

I can’t wait to see them continue to grow in their enthusiasm to connect with and care for others!

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Romans 12:10-11 (NLT) 

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life... Use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. Galatians 5:13-15 (Message)

Have to share Cora's cute drawing of her family...
she had to keep coloring on the
backside of her house to make all 6 of us fit!

 

To date, this is still one of my favorite
worksheets that Asher has brought home...
It's from way back in Kindergarten!