Quick update: We’re still waiting to receive the kids’ visas. Once the visas are processed, we can make the final trip to bring them into our home.
In the mean time, there’s some nesting going on! I’ve got rooms ready, closets stocked, 4 toothbrushes in the kids’ bathroom… I’m keenly aware that there is about to be a flutter of activity, but for a few more days and weeks we have calm. I’m remembering another time with similar feelings: the night before my scheduled induction for Cora.
It was supposed to be a time of excitement. We were on the brink of what we had been waiting for… but my happiness was pushed aside by apprehension. What in the world had we done? Life seemed good as a family of three. We were about to shake things up. What were we thinking??? J I cried myself to sleep that night and then woke up the next morning composed – feeling excited and confident. And now I look back and think, “How boring would our family be without Cora?!”
My experience has been that all of the planning, reading and researching I do gives me invaluable knowledge… but doesn’t actually prepare me for the reality of whatever change I’m going through. The emotional side of transition can’t be tempered – and is draining!
I’ve now done the planning for our transition from adoption to raising these kids. I’ve read, watched, researched, asked and listened… I’m as ready as I can be, but don’t feel ready at all! I’ve been thinking a lot about what the transition phase is going to look like for us – and I honestly don’t know. There are so many unknowns that we’ll see play out. But we do know a few things:
- Bonding with these kids is going to be top priority. We were able to bond with Cora and Asher while they were infants – we have met every single one of their needs day in and day out since before they were even born… But creating a sense of trust and attachment with our new kids will look different. They are coming to us from a place of loss. We want to be incredibly sensitive to where they are and what they feel… so that over time we can build attachment.
- We’re going to emphasize boundaries. I can’t even imagine how overwhelmed they will feel. Everything is going to be new and different – their physical environment, climate, language, culture, food. The stimulation will be overwhelming and exhausting. We’re going to stay home way more than usual (which will be a challenge!). We’re going to limit the people that come into our house. We’re going to be sticklers for a schedule. All in an attempt to minimize their chaos.
- We will physically model family. Even bigger than learning about their new environment will be learning about relationships. They have had many changes in parental figures and caregivers over the course of their lives. There has not been consistency. While we can tell them about love and family, it’ll just be words to them. We need to show them… by being the ones to hold them, hug them, feed them, etc. We want them to see within our nuclear family they are safe and they will have their needs met. Once they have a healthy bond with us, we can extend it to other relationships.
I’m picturing us going into a cocoon of sorts! And emerging as a full fledged family of six! J
Be strong and have strength of heart. Do not be afraid... the Lord your God is the One Who goes with you. He will be faithful to you. He will not leave you.”
2 Timothy 1:7 (NLV)
Continued Prayer Requests:
- Pray that the Embassy feels a sense of urgency in processing these visas
- Pray for all four of the kids... that their hearts and minds be prepared, as much as possible, for the upcoming changes our family will experience. It’s going to be both amazing and difficult on all of us in different ways!
