I carry a heaviness of heart... and some days the load feels greater. Today is one of those days. Hopefully tomorrow will not be. :) There was a Sunday last November when I cried for our child(ren) through an entire church service. I don't know why the burden was especially great. Was he/she being conceived? born? hurt? abandoned? Maybe one day I'll be able to gather enough information to piece together what was happening to him/her that very day when I felt a strong connection and encumbrance.
I know it's dark. It's heavy. It's depressing. You're not in the mood to think about it. I'm not either. I'd much rather finish my latte and dive into my mindless Janet Evanovich book... But some days I can't shake the weight. I know that other people, in other places, are experiencing true darkness. Today, while I am comfortably sitting in a hallway at my son's school, I am not worried that his class could be kidnapped... not worried that my girlfriends could be sold into the sex trade... not worried that my pastor may be tortured and held in a prison. I have the blessing of living without those fears... but right this second, other people are living them out. The heaviness of others' suffering seems so immense in contrast to the lightness of my daily life.
But of all my comforts and blessings, the real lightness in my life comes from knowing that my God has already claimed victory over all of the darkness in the world. His love conquers. He wins. That truth lifts my weight.
Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I’m not abandoned. The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” John 16:33
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