All Your Promises

We're coming up on the one year anniversary of James and Esther coming home with us. In some ways time flies, in other ways, this was by far the longest year of our lives. The milestones were many, both big and small. So many, that it became easy to overlook the growth happening every day in our home.

As we look back, it’s overwhelming on so many levels and difficult to even know where to start in summing it all up. You see the cutesy Facebook posts and photos – these kids are energetic and resilient. They are transforming before our eyes. It’s such a privilege to have front row seats as their futures unfold.

We continue to not feel comfortable in “publicizing” the struggles we’ve seen this year – I would never want our kids to be embarrassed. It’ll be their story to tell in the future. We have walked through darkness mixed in with the many moments of love, joy, and healing.

The meditation in my mind recently has been one lyric over and over again… “all Your promises are yes and amen.”  I could go on and on about God’s promises and how we’ve seen and felt them this year… but I’ll tap into my love of lists and give you bullet points.

- God will never leave us

Cora's Thanksgiving Project

No matter what the circumstance, we do not need to fear because God will not leave us. My kids have heard this, but this year they felt it and experienced it. It’s a truth they now hold dear.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

- God is a refuge

We have needed to retreat this year. We have pulled away from some relationships and commitments, knowing we needed a refuge. And God has tangibly been that refuge. I have caught all four of the kids reading their Bible, trying to “feel better” lately. And I so appreciate that they know where to turn from true refreshment. God will not leave us comfortless if we seek Him. 

The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9
I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you. John 14:18

- God gives us strength, power and wisdom

We have floundered and questioned. We have felt hopeless. But when we felt the most inadequate, we also strangely felt the most equipped because it was clear God was empowering us. 

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. James 1:5
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Isaiah 40:29

- God protects us and is a light in the darkness

We have needed physical protection at times. We have had more “near misses” than I can count. But we walked away with minor inflictions every single time. I can’t stress enough how strongly we have felt and clung to God’s protection. 

Night times were incredibly difficult and escalated for many months. The week the kids’ spent at Royal Family Kids Camp was a transformation in many ways… and one of the biggest changes was when God’s truth sunk in that He is light. Nights are peaceful in our house now – and the lights are off!

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. 1 John 1:5

- God meets our needs

He has met our needs over and over again, often times before we even voiced them. But even more so, He has graciously given us more than what we need. And we are so incredibly grateful. 

The biggest example? We’ve been feeling a shift in our home. It feels like we are transitioning from “surviving” to what is becoming “thriving.” We are seeing so many positive transformations – in bonding, learning, communicating, self awareness, etc. We wanted to celebrate that and turn the page in a way. And do you know how we’re going to do it? In Disney World! An absolutely wonderful non-profit, Adventure is Out There (adventure.ngo), is sending our family to Disney for what they call “a nurturing experience”, a.k.a. total craziness and a ton of family bonding. We can’t wait!!!

For all of God's promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding "Yes!" And through Christ, our "Amen" (which means "Yes") ascends to God for his glory. 2 Cor. 1:20

Living Out Life Lessons

You know when you read a book and something resonates with you as a bit of “good information.” It makes sense – it’s a clear, concise, important bit of knowledge that you store, knowing one day you may have to apply it.

And then that day comes. You’re living out something you previously only read about – so it’s no longer just intellectual, it’s now REAL on a new level. You realize that the information you had was good. It was true, right and applicable… but you didn’t know the depth of it and couldn’t truly understand it until you were actually living it yourself.

That’s where we are these days. Some of the lessons we’re living in our house are…

- “All you need is love” isn’t quite true when you’re piecing a family together through adoption. You need patience, structure, nurture, understanding, mercy, faith and so much more! 

- Wounds from abandonment run deep. Responses and reactions are multi-layered. Cries are guttural. Emotions have a profound intensity. As a parent watching and loving, there are often no words – just your presence and prayers.  

- Felt security is a long-term process. Physically being protected and surrounded by people who are loving doesn’t guarantee that you truly FEEL secure. Felt security will hopefully develop over time through consistency and focus on attachment. Emotional security will hopefully also grow to a point where emotions are not so easily disturbed and distressed. But these things can't be rushed or forced.  

- “I don’t know” is a real and acceptable answer. I don’t know because I don’t remember… I don’t know why I did XYZ because the urges I feel are stronger than my impulse control… I don’t know because my brain flips to an innate survival mode. It literally freezes… I don’t know because I am overwhelmed and stuck in sensory overload… I don’t know because I have so many fear-based behaviors that I can’t even pinpoint my exact fears… I don’t know what to do – but thank God I don’t need to know all of the answers! 

- Nurturing can truly fill in developmental gaps and literally rewire the brain. We are following the TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) model in our home, which ties into parenting kids from hard places with a connected and attachment-focused approach. It’s simple in theory, but so hard to implement some days. It feels weird at times. I often have to make myself do the opposite of what comes to mind as a traditional parent. But we are seeing them progress through missed developmental stages in amazing ways. When we step back to look at how far we've come in only 10 months, It almost feels like we're watching home videos of developmental progress on fast forward. Truly amazing.  

- We have a gracious God who will walk with us through anything and never leave us. He uses us and our shortcomings to do things that are only possible with His strength, power, love and forgiveness.