Ties that Bond

In high school, I went to a Rembrandts concert with a bunch of girlfriends. You know the Rembrandts, right? If not, here’s a little 90s trivia. Their claim to fame is the theme song for Friends, “I’ll be there for you…”.

No one could ever know me. No one could ever see me 

Seems you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me 

Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with 

Someone I'll always laugh with 

Even at my worst, I'm best with you, Yeah! 

I vividly remember only one detail from that concert… spinning around in a grassy field, surrounded by friends and singing my heart out. A total sense of solidarity.

Fast forward 5 years to a post college. I was living on my own, doing the “adult thing” and just really missing the camaraderie that came with high school and college. That transition out of school is challenging – you’re no longer constantly surrounded by peers. Add to it that I was going through a really tough time – and I just flat out felt alone. One night I specifically prayed for someone to come into my life - just one friend who could relate to where I was… and the next morning I got a phone call. Someone from my church had given my name to another 20-something and said we should connect. So we grabbed lunch… and discovered we were dealing with the exact same issue. Immediate understanding. Immediate friendship. Immediate answer to prayer.

I said a similar prayer last summer as we were embarking on this adoption journey. I just wanted someone who knew – who understood the crazy emotional journey that comes with international adoption. Within days, I got an e-mail from an old high school acquaintance who knows adoption and has become a sweet support. Then I met a neighbor who has adopted and is herself adopted. Immediate understanding. Immediate friendship. Immediate answer to prayer.

I continue to be blessed with dear friendships… adoption- related or not...  relationships that run deep and demonstrate transparency. Relationships that are just heartening. 

You all are so supportive! You have been asking how you can help us… and at this stage of the game, we’re mainly just waiting. We’re using our time to read anything and everything we can that will prepare us for the future transition. And more than anything else, just pouring into Asher and Cora, knowing things will change dramatically in the somewhat near future. That being said, we will remember all of your offers of help and cash in on them in the future. ;)

There are two ways to support us during this waiting phase…

-          PRAYER
This whole process has only strengthened our faith in the Lord and the power of prayer. Please pray for our family. I’ll try to be diligent about posting specific prayer requests… because I believe God answers SPECIFIC requests with SPECIFIC answers… but ongoing prayer for the protection of our future kids, the openness of the adoption program in Ethiopia, and our own family’s faith and preparation is MUCH appreciated!

-          FUNDRAISING
We are continuing to fundraise for the next set of fees that will be due when we accept a referral. The one “perk” of a long wait time is more time to raise funds! We don’t want our family and friends to feel any pressure or burden to support this financially. However, even if you don’t feel led to participate in the fundraisers, we would really appreciate you spreading the word to others!!

I recently came across this blog that I want to share… we feel blessed that we have such incredible friends and family supporting us. You all are wonderful. So in  some ways, this post doesn't apply. In other ways, it sums up where we are... This is a little “wish list” of what most adoptive families wish others knew… we feel the same. Here’s the first item to know about adoptive parents:

1. We have tunnel vision - especially at the beginning. Perhaps our eyes are just being opened to the orphan crisis, to foster care in our country, to what God says about caring for those in need - which then dominoes into social justice and sometimes missions, and we are very passionate about the subject. We are so passionate that conversations with us will be single subject, one sided rants about the above. It's new, it's exciting, and we are on the front-end - it's much like a brand new dating relationship. We see all of the positives, and we are starry eyed, hopeful, expectant and just plain excited. We want to share this excitement with the world. I mean the. whole. world. We see brown skinned babies at the mall with white parents, and we go weak in the knees and nearly squeal at them. We see Asian children at preschool and immediately start dreaming and yapping about our future children and the beautiful gift that is adoption. You might feel a little weird around us (okay a lot weird). Something has happened to your once-normal friend who used to chat about shoes and clothes and TV shows, but is now shouting about how your clothes are not fair-trade (and neither is that coffee your drinking or your candy bar your eating!), and don't you care about the child soldiers in Africa?! You might feel a little uncomfortable, like perhaps now your friend expects you to jump on the bandwagon and get weird too - perhaps even start an adoption process yourself, and that's not your calling so you squirm and begin to feel uncomfortable every time you see her number on the caller id or read another passionate blog post or facebook update. We are single-minded and self-absorbed, much like the expectant first-time mama who is growing her precious baby inside of her. But we need you - no, not to adopt - we need you to listen, give us grace, and invest in the process - much like you did when your sister was expecting her first baby. Be excited with us - even if you don't quite get it yet. Do your own research on these subjects that have begun to matter to us. We need you to give us time and space and allow us to go through this process. The tunnel vision will not {exactly} last forever.

I definitely have the tunnel vision described in the blog. Thank you for listening, asking, reading and bearing with me! (And if you want to find out about fair trade coffee and supporting Ethiopia, visit Just Love Coffee!) J