The Others

When we were with our son, he used the phrase "the others" over and over again... 

Thank you, mama, for dinner. Did you send dinner for "the others"? 

Can we take this snack to "the others"?

Can these extra books be for "the others"?

He went out of his way to share with everyone he saw. Kids on the street, tourists staying in our hotel, employees at stores... In his mind, anyone and everyone was one of "the others" in need. Every meal we ate, he would try to take water and leftovers out to the security guards at our hotel. They tried to turn him down, but he was persistent! :) He has no perspective on there being people NOT in need. 

Our hearts are now split... and we realize they will always be stretched across continents. Our family is intertwined with another culture and history. With this in mind, the day that we bring the kids into the States will not end our involvement in their home country. We intend to stay connected, involved and be part of impacting lives beyond the two that we now hold dear! We want them to know we are still working to help "the others."

Ready to start the school day!

We will have one final trip related to the adoption. God willing, it will be in the next couple of months. When we go back, we would love to bless "the others" in a few different ways... Can you help?!

(1) Backpacks
Transportation is difficult there - the average person does not have access to a car, motorcycle or even a bike. Walking is the primary way to get around... so you can imagine how helpful backpacks are for both kids and adults! Everyone needs them - to carry their belongings while they're on the go. If you want to make a donation that is truly useful - this is it. Please send us gently used or new backpacks (they're on clearance this time of year!). We're hoping to fill at least one suitcase to take!

(2) Applesauce
The kids at the orphanage LOVED the squeezy applesauces! A great healthy snack that is also hydrating! If you're like me, you probably have some to spare from your giant Costco-sized box! ;) Send them our way!

(3) Technology
A computer lab is in the works for the school our kids attend. This is beyond anything that the average school has, but the vision has been planted and God has been making it happen. Phones, tablets and laptops that we may consider "outdated" still have life left in them! They would be so appreciated by the teachers and students. If you have any devices you're about to part with, please let us know!


On a personal note, we are continuing to set aside funds for our final adoption fees and travel expenses. We have turned our attention away from proactively fundraising to focus our time on preparing for the upcoming transition... However, our Lifesong account is still open should you feel a desire to support our journey financially... Follow the prompts to donate to "Adoption" and an "Adoptive Family." Our family number is 04230. THANK YOU!
https://www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/  

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the right of widows. Isaiah 1:17

Heartwarming and Heartbreaking

My head is still swirling and emotions still running high from the trip! 

We feel like when we are there, we're living in this paradox of experiencing things that are both heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. There is such despair... and such goodness.

Here are two examples of what I mean... 

Heartbreaking to see the need... Heartwarming to see the response...

This is a pic of our kiddos reaching out of our taxi... We spent a fair amount of time in the car, driving between appointments. On this particular day, we had stopped at a grocery store and let the kids each pick out 3 items. They both chose a box of cookies, milk and a jar of peanut butter. About 5 minutes later, we were sitting in traffic at a corner where some children were working/selling items... Our son rolled down the window, called them over and shared his cookies with them. He told the kids to go find cups, which they did, and then he filled their cups with his milk. And then our daughter opened up her peanut butter and let them each reach in to grab a handful. (I buried my instinct to cringe at the germs exchanged!) 

They could relate to those unknown kids. They know what it's like to be hungry. They didn't hesitate for a second to share with someone else in need... and their generosity wasn't limited - they were willing to part with every single item we had just given them. It was precious.

Heartbreaking to see destitution and experience the retelling of losses endured... Heartwarming to see commitment to children's wellbeing...

Part of the delay and issue with our adoption has been that the country experienced unethical adoptions in the past. As a result, they did not conduct adoptions for a period of time and are now beginning again... and they're hesitant to trust outsiders. Every single person of authority that we've encountered wants to make sure that our children are in fact orphaned and there is no misunderstanding regarding what adoption means (not a short term or temporary arrangement)... So the caregivers and extended families of the children have been called to testify again and again to "be sure". 

Our kids are so blessed by these adults who care about them and their well being so incredibly much. These people have had to make long treks to the city at least 10 or more times now (partly due to lost paperwork. ugh!). This means day long trips, tedious travel, lost wages, etc. Then they have to stand before various officials (judges, attorneys, directors) and explain over and over again the losses they've endured and why they can no longer continue caring for these children. We have watched them be spoken to harshly - and I can only imagine the sadness, grief, humiliation and more they feel in these "interviews". Chad and I keep saying it would surely have been easier on them to just leave the children in the orphanage... but going through these steps is the only way that they can ensure the children are adopted and have a better future. My heart goes out to them! Please keep them in your prayers... 

Answers Part 2

In terms of the actual adoption process, we made significant progress over during the 2 weeks in country. We had some hurdles, but nothing insurmountable. It was generally a time of positive relationship building with key individuals. There are definitely stories to share of God's movement on our behalf!

Here’s another specific prayer request we've had over the last year... and the answer... 
 

• Signed Paperwork! You’ve all heard us talk about “the signature”. We waited months and months and months for the signature. We received feedback indicating the individual required to sign didn’t support adoption, refused to sign, was not open to discussing further, etc. There have been other difficulties, too, but the outstanding signature was the key issue lingering in the background. Even if a judge granted the adoption, we needed this sign-off as well.
  
  We visited this individual's office one of our first days in country – to just introduce ourselves and be available to talk if she was interested. We figured any preemptive relationship building would help. Afterall, we’d be coming to her for the final sign-off…
  We waited quite awhile in her building (waiting hours for people to address you is common there!)... Then we were escorted to her office, where we sat with the kids on our laps. She didn’t really speak directly with us - we just listened to her talk with a few colleagues - the conversation went in circles. We couldn’t understand it all, but we could discern that the tone was NOT positive… and then all of a sudden, she stopped, looked at us, and briefly said “I see the bond. These children are attached to you. I approve and will sign.” She took photos of us and sent us on our way…
  
  Hallelujah!
  
  We’ve been praying for her to have a change of heart, but not just towards our specific case. The bold prayer is that her heart is changed towards adoption, in general, to give more children an opportunity to be raised with a family, not in an institution. Continuing to pray that while she did approve ours, she becomes open to approving others, as well.

 

So now that we're home and have been issues an actual court order, we can start moving forward with the US side of things... like applying for visas. Praying it moves quickly so we can bring these kiddos home with us as soon as possible!

The Fight

I had such mixed feelings leading up to this trip… On one hand, I wanted to celebrate the good news that the adoption process was (finally) moving again AND the excitement of reuniting with our kids…

 

On the other hand, I was feeling fear and anxiety. I felt like I was preparing for battle. I was coming over here to fight for these kids - to ensure that all of the players were considering their best interests – to not allow ego or processes to hold them in an orphanage any longer. I worried about how I was going to get things done, knowing the challenges here. I’m not an assertive person by nature. I shy away from confrontation… I am not a “fighter”.

And yet I’ve been able to “fight” for these kids without stepping outside of my natural temperament. I’ve felt God’s prompting to remain quiet and compliant at times. I’ve tried to demonstrate humility, compassion and kindness in all of my interactions. I’ve been carrying a supernatural patience which I cannot even begin to claim as my own willpower because it has transcended some true chaos.  

Today, my attorney told me he liked and appreciated my disposition. That it worked in my favor within the culture here. And I just felt so overwhelmed with emotion when he made that one simple comment… because I had nothing to be fearful of. God is the one in control of all of this… and He has used my love for these kids and my quiet persistence to make things happen here. I am so beyond grateful…

  

Answers

We're a week into the trip and I've been postponing blogging about it... because to be honest, my head is swirling! My emotions are just running high. The things that we see, hear, feel over hear are just overwhelming and difficult to process at times.

I was looking back through past blogs last night, making a list of the things that we’ve asked you to be praying for over the past year… A year when we had little to no idea what was happening in our kids’ lives on a day-to-day basis... I’m so clearly seeing how God has been faithful to us and gone ahead of us here. He has been present with our children and is making a way for our family to be united.  

You collectively prayed with us that God would…

·       Protect our kids in Africa. Keep them safe and healthy. Use this time to grow their English skills. Prepare their hearts and minds for adoption… The kids are well and we're thrilled to be loving on them in person. They know enough English now to understand much of what we’re saying. They can ask us questions and express their needs... It's amazing to see how they come to us and are bonding with us. We're still getting to know them and I can't wait til we can tell you all about them... but where we are now feels like the first steps of trust and attachment. In some ways it seems incredible and in other ways it just seems so simple.
 

·       May God meet them where they are… make Himself known to them... Fill their little hearts with His peace… The best way to explain this in action is to tell you about the first meal we shared with the kids. We brought them to our hotel for lunch. When the waitress laid out the plates, Chad and I were distracted helping our daughter into her seat. We looked up to see our son, head bowed over his food, praying. Not a little, quiet grace. He was PRAYING. Fervently. Even the waitress stopped to watch him and said “do you see him praying?!” My heart overflowed! God is with our son. Our son knows Him and knows that all thanks are directed to Him!

 

 

·       Lift Asher’s anxieties from his mind so that he doesn’t carry the weight of worrying about their well-being… The message that we can take home to Asher from this trip is that the kids are alright. But more than that, it’s being able to tell Asher (and show him via photos and videos) that at the end of the day, they are just kids! They laugh. They play. They bicker. They hold our hands. They are easily distracted. They sing and dance. They go to school and church. They have favorite sport teams. They love taking selfies. They ask for phones and iPads. And on and on… J  

 

Thank you all so much for continuing to pray for our family. We are just overcome with support and so appreciate each of you! Please continue praying for the actual adoption proceedings. We're still wading through the steps, but feel confident and know God is walking this with us. More to share in the days to come...!