When school got out, we had about a week of bliss... and then the bickering began. I am confident you all have lived this too. It's the timeless story of summertime siblings.
I found myself in this cycle of only saying negative or corrective things - stop. don't. redo. no. It was a spiral downward. I kept thinking I need to turn this around somehow... but really, they just need to stop! :)
Could I bribe them? No, I refused to bribe my kids to be kind to one another.
After another day of negativity, I reconsidered - should I bribe them? No. I will not pay my kids to be kind!
Another day of negativity. A moment of desperation... Enter the little fishbowl that I found in our attic. It used to be a reward system for toddler-aged Asher and Cora. I actually tried to give it away when I was cleaning stuff out, but the people who said they wanted it never picked it up... It's like God knew I still needed that fish bowl!
I assigned everyone a colored ball. If I caught someone doing something kind, their colored ball went in the jar. At the end of the week, we'd cash out for a quarter per ball.
Weeks 1-2... I rewarded every. little. thing. It started out pretty self-centered. "Look, mom, did you see that I just did? Do I get a ball for that minuscule act of kindness I just performed?"
Week 3... I raised the bar. Only larger, selfless acts of kindness earned a ball. It became a fun challenge.
Week 4... I no longer needed to initiate the rewards. The conversations transitioned to "Mom, so and so deserves a ball. They just did XYZ." This was better than expected - they were becoming so focused beyond themselves they wanted to make sure others earned balls!
Week 5+... No balls needed. The jar is sitting in our kitchen and the kids aren't asking to cash out. Everyone is just flat out being kind to one another. Woo hoo!!
May contagious kindness roll into the upcoming school year...
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
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