Seeing Clearly

I'm the exact opposite of a procrastinator. I get an idea and I want to just run with it. No waiting. No postponing. Immediate gratification. (This is why you can find me at Hobby Lobby multiple times in one day… I get an idea and immediately run up the street to grab supplies so I can get started!)

In the adoption realm, I feel content waiting for a period of time… and then I hit a patch of restlessness. My impatience leads me to thinking maybe I can act in some way. I can circumvent the wait. There has to be something I can do… Surely, I can take control of this… So I start re-reading, re-researching, inquiring here and there… searching for something that can be done to speed up this process.

But the more I try to maneuver, the more frustrated I get. I try to go this way, and remember we looked into that before and there was a catch. I look into another direction and realize it’s a dead-end. I read and read and read. I zig zag through ideas, websites, contacts… and I exhaust myself. It is mentally and emotionally draining.

And then I come to a place where I see clearly again. Yes, I temporarily lost sign of the big picture, but it's within my vision again… 

This is not our family’s adoption story. This is God’s adoption journey that He is entrusting to our family. It’s HIS children in Africa that He loves. It’s HIS all-knowing nature that is already preparing us (our family and those children) for one another. It’s HIS timing. I can’t speed that up. I wouldn’t want to – because I know that HIS gifts are GOOD. And those good gifts are HIS idea of good, not mine. So it’s all going to come together in a way that’s bigger and more beautiful than I can even imagine…  

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

(Kind of like our marriage. A gift that was more than I could have even imagined! Happy 10 years, Chad! J)

Then...

...and now.