Blessings

We continue to be so incredibly grateful for the financial support we've received towards our adoption. The financial assistance is amazing and lifts a huge burden from our shoulders… allowing us to focus thoughts and preparation on the actual children. But more than just the money, it feels like a tangible sign of the emotional support you all have consistently shown us. Mere “thank you’s” don’t feel like enough!

God continues to bless us in this area as we move forward with adoption expenses. It’s the big blessing that I’ve shared in past posts ("Uh, Isn't that Expensive?" and "Careless in the Care of God"), but it’s also the little day-to-day things that we can only explain as godsends … It’s the “deals” that frequently fall in our laps… like clothes ringing up to mere cents at the store… or finds on Christmas gifts that equate to significant discounts... It’s unexpected rewards. A recent example – we didn’t take the kids to amusement parks this summer. Things like that feel like unnecessary expenses right now and skipping them frees up a little extra $$ for the adoption fund… But after sticking to that “rule” this year, we won tickets to Christmastown at a church event. It was such a sweet little holiday blessing and the kids were so excited!

Christmastown 2015

We started this adoption process in 2013 with an unknown dollar figure for what was to come… we didn’t know how many children would be referred to us and how fees would change while we waited… Our goal was to raise at least one-third of the total expenses.

Two and a half years in, we’ve now walked through a change in country, a referral for TWO kids, and await two additional trips before the children come home with us. We now know that the total costs will exceed $50,000… And we are so happy to report that we have raised over $16,000 towards these expenses. That’s an accumulation of donations, grants, and “payments” for items we’ve made/sold and workshops I’ve held. We are so overwhelmed with gratitude.

So thank you to all of you who have participated in my workshops, bought items from BitsofFab and made donations this year… and an extra thank you to everyone who has been praying for us through this whole process. We have no doubt that the prayers are the foundation for the actual dollar amounts.

A reminder that all donations made directly to Lifesong for Orphans on our behalf are tax-deductible. Lifesong will automatically send you a 2015 receipt if your donations this year totaled $250 or more. If you want to request a receipt for an amount under $250, you can contact them directly at 309.747.4527 or PO Box 40 Gridley, IL 61744. Be sure to reference our account – Blalock/4230.

God With Us

I’ve been struggling with the whole Santa thing this year… We’ve tried to focus the kids on Jesus’ birthday in years past, but Santa’s always vying for their attention. We’ve allowed him be a main character in our Christmas traditions, intertwining his character with biblical accounts and the historical St. Nicolas. My struggle comes when I picture a future conversation between all of our kids… 

New Kids: Who is Santa?

Asher & Cora: What, you don’t know about Santa? He’s this and that and…

New Kids: This is news to us!

Asher & Cora: Santa didn’t come to you? I thought he visited all boys and girls across the world???

And so on… Maybe I’m analyzing it too much, but I foresee it leading to grown-up questions about social injustice and poverty. Questions I don’t know how to answer for them! In an air of avoidance, I debated outing Santa this year… but then thought better of it. I love Asher & Cora’s sweet little faith in everything Christmas.

So our Elf on the Shelf, Nippy, gave us a scripture to read to re-focus each day leading up to Christmas… As I’ve start re-reading the Christmas story, I’ve realized I connect with it in yet another way this season… Walking by faith on a path just above a heap of unknowns is basically Mary’s story. J

God had promised a Savior to the world… but the details were unknown. And when He started revealing His plan, there had to be a sense of “what?” Are you sure this is how it’s going to come together? This is where you’re leading us, God? A virgin birth? A baby for our king? It isn’t what we pictured!

I’m there right now. We know and trust big picture that God is bringing about his will in this adoption… but the twists and turns have left us with a bit of a “what?” feeling… This is where you’ve lead us? Are you working behind the scenes right now? Assuming so, we’d love to be in on it, God!

With all of her unknowns, Mary modeled such faith. She “treasured up” all of the amazing things that she witnessed. I want to do the same. And I can, because I know that Jesus, Emmanual (God-with-us), IS with us and with ALL of our kids.

Mary’s Song of Praise…I’m bursting with God-news;

I’m dancing the song of my Savior God.

God took one good look at me, and look what happened—I’m the most fortunate woman on earth!

What God has done for me will never be forgotten, the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others.

His mercy flows in wave after wave on those who are in awe before him.

He bared his arm and showed his strength, scattered the bluffing braggarts.

He knocked tyrants off their high horses, pulled victims out of the mud.

The starving poor sat down to a banquet; the callous rich were left out in the cold.

He embraced his chosen child, Israel; he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high.

It’s exactly what he promised, beginning with Abraham and right up to now.

 Luke 1:46-56

Unrest

We’ve gotten some disappointing news – our trip to finalize the adoption has been postponed by at least 6 weeks. So we won’t be in Africa this December, as we had hoped and expected. Insert tears here. 

For the past 5 months I’ve been saying December wasn’t a sure thing and that nothing is ever definite with all of this… but the reality is that it was the only information I had. So over time I clung to it and became pretty fixated on traveling by the close of 2015. Now, it'll be a little longer that my heart is stuck in a place of unrest with our family split between continents. 

There are at least five or more “good” reasons that we can focus on as to why this delay may be a positive thing… and I’m still in the Exodus 14:14 mindset of knowing that the Lord is fighting for us and caring for these kids… He must need more time to work things out on their behalf! 

How joyful are those who fear the Lord and delight in obeying his commands. Their children will be successful everywhere; an entire generation of godly people will be blessed… Such people will not be overcome by evil… They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.  (Psalm 112)

Be Still

We’re almost to the 5 month mark in our 6 month guardianship waiting period… And it feels like all of the thoughts, emotions and prayers are coming to a head. This is the period where I potentially see myself losing my mind.

Oh, how I hate to be still. I don’t stop all day long. I’m not capable of sitting still. I try. I just jump back up with another idea of what I can be doing… I drive myself (and Chad) crazy with this!

Being still has taken on another whole level with this adoption. Everything is completely out of my hands. I can’t even pretend to distract myself with little deeds and doings. There’s absolutely nothing I can do to make it all happen. So I’m in a state of forced stillness.

It’s multi-faceted… It surpasses a physical immobility. It’s a mental stillness where I have to calm my never-ending thoughts and questions. And it goes deeper to an emotional level where I must steady my emotions. (Picture a crazy line graph that’s up and down and all over the board… I’m just trying to even it out with less impassioned highs and lows!)

The stillness goes deeper yet to a spiritual level. Being still before the Lord feels like an impossibility… but the reality is that anything BUT being still is unfeasible.

So I’ve decided to cling to two specific scriptures... They're my current mantras and I've plastered them all over the house. They’re taped to mirrors, cabinets, etc. I have a dear friend texting me one of them daily. I’m trying to embrace this deep stillness and just rest in God. But’s it’s HARD! (And I guess I’m not really successful in being still if I’m running around the house, making signs. That seems more like restless energy than peace!)

Here are the mantras… please pray them for me (and with me because I have a feeling many of us struggle with stillness!)…

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

Some trust in chariots and some in horses (or adoption agencies, lawyers, judges, etc.), but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7     

A recent attempt at rest and stillness... :)

Stopping the Madness

I cancelled our newspaper subscription today. Not big news, I know… but I’m feeling proud of myself because I’ve been stalling on pulling the plug. I don’t actually read the paper. I just like perusing ads… especially around the holidays. It's all rooted in fond childhood memories of flipping through the Sears catalog and making Christmas wish lists.

That tradition has been passed along to my kids and each year they take turns flipping through the circulars as Christmas approaches… But why? Just for the fun of it? The tradition?! Because the reality is, I’d rather them not have a never-ending wish list… I want them to learn to be content... To understand the difference between needs and wants… to not be overly influenced by messages of materialism and consumerism.

We’ve been without cable TV for over a year now… We initially did it as a money saver and to cut down on how much TV we watched… the added bonus? No commercials! No longer do I hear sweet little voices repeating tag lines and spelling out website addresses for useless things like pillowpets. Yeah! I'm hoping the lack of store ads has a similar effect!

Side Note: If you're interested in taking little steps to stop the madness, too, check out this link for a great way to change perspective during advent: An Antidote for Holiday Consumerism 

I think about the new kids coming into our house and wonder about the observations they’ll have... “Look at all of these toys! Awesome!” or  “Woah - why so many?” “What in the world do they do with all of this?”  or “They have 18 balls! My friends at my old school were wishing for just one ball...”

More than likely they’ll be overwhelmed. I’m making a mental comparison to how I felt the first time we visited Chuck E Cheese. I believe I was twitching within 30 seconds. Total sensory overload.

And then my mind progresses from a surplus of toys to one of food. What in the world will they think the first time they go to an American grocery store??? From my “first world” perspective, I anticipate that they’ll feel relief at knowing so much food is now accessible to them. I can almost picture them wanting to grab as much as they can… But then I take off my filter and realize that their reaction could likely be very different. They may be confused by the choices, options, variations…  (The cereal aisle, alone, may put them into a panic.) They will be conflicted - why is all of this food here, when the people in my village can’t get enough?

This train of thought reminds me of an impressionable moment on my trip. While sharing dinner one night, we split a large bottle of water between about 10 people, pouring it into individual glasses. My daughter bumped her glass and the water spilled. It was a relatively small amount of water since we had allocated the bottle among so many… and I didn’t really react. Kids spill. It's just water. No big deal. 

The adults at the table immediately jumped up, trying to save some of the water. They chastised her. It was the only time I saw them speak harshly... over spilt water. It slowly sunk in why they were so upset with her - she had just lost a valuable commodity. The one thing not to be wasted… Water.

Later that night I was showing the kids photos of life here. Pictures of our family, house, schools, foods. The kept returning to one particular photo of Asher in our neighborhood splash park. After the water incident earlier in the evening, I was regretting including the photo in the book. There was water on the ground, water in the background, water all over his body. He was playing in an excess of the very thing they ration. They were a bit mesmerized, but mainly confused. I fielded MANY questions over that one picture.

Asher playing in our neighborhood splash park.

The contrast between little vs. much... lacking and excess (like wish lists from Sears catalogs!!)… Accessibility and unavailability… I am no closer to comprehending these disparities than I was months ago… How will these sweet little brains perceive and process it all??? I'm praying that with God's help, they come to know this to be true: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.  1 Corinthians 10:23-24 (NLT)
 

Loving Others

One of my greatest desires is for my kids to be people who care… who give... who empathize… who can step outside of their comfort zone to impact their world.

Both Asher and Cora have a natural desire to be helpful. It’s so sweet to see this part of their personalities. Asher has an innate willingness to bestow gifts and surrender his own possessions. He would empty his pockets without blinking an eye. He gives and gives generously. Cora’s personality is different. Instead of being moved by material need, she sees emotional need. She notices people, observes them in a deeper way. She’ll ask me things like, “why is that person smiling, but their eyes are sad?” She is attentive to people and connects with their emotional state.  

I consider it one of my many jobs to cultivate these gifts in them. I want them to step past caring and into the realm of taking action. It’s one of those things that really can’t be taught verbally. I can’t just command them to care or instruct them to show compassion. It’s deeper than words – it’s something that needs to connect in their sweet little hearts. 

We’ve found opportunities to get them volunteering… Serving dinner at Ronald McDonald Houses, packing lunches for the homeless, buying lunch food for students in need… It’s all good stuff, but they forget so quickly. It’s not enough to drive home the long term message that to whom much is given, much is expected.

The adoption journey is obviously shaping Asher & Cora in this area, as well. To the extent that their little brains can understand, they have a more global perspective than they did before… There's a greater awareness of others' needs... They’re gaining an appreciation for the things they have… And they have an increased passion for helping people. (Of course, they're still kids and sometimes choose to throw a tantrum over sharing something... but I digress. ;))

So I’m learning that the lesson needs to be rooted in more than single, disjointed events where we serve…

-       It’s a mindset that Chad and I have to model every single day.

-       It’s a lifestyle that gives opportunity for them to see outside of our suburban bubble.

-       It’s a schedule with margin that allows us to be available to help when help is needed.

-       It’s the conversations we have and the questions we ask.

I can’t wait to see them continue to grow in their enthusiasm to connect with and care for others!

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Romans 12:10-11 (NLT) 

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life... Use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. Galatians 5:13-15 (Message)

Have to share Cora's cute drawing of her family...
she had to keep coloring on the
backside of her house to make all 6 of us fit!

 

To date, this is still one of my favorite
worksheets that Asher has brought home...
It's from way back in Kindergarten!

School Daze

Preparing for school was a little surreal for me this year.

Partly because we had a great summer and I really wasn’t prepared for it to end. Labor Day weekend and the close of summer totally snuck up on me... 

And partly because the time leading up to school felt “easy” compared to past years. The kids had no worries, no sadness, no fears. For Asher, specifically, that's a 180-degree turn from past years. I tiptoed around the subject of school for weeks, scared it would initiate anxiety… but all was truly calm as the first day approached, commenced and is now coming to a close. Sweet relief!

First Day of the
2015-16 School Year

Walking Asher to school this morning also felt surreal... because it hit me that this time next year I could be walking four kids to elementary school. FOUR! With the new kids, though, it likely not going to be as straightforward as it's been with Asher and Cora... taking the Briggance and rolling into kindergarten…

I have no idea what to expect in terms of language, prior schooling, developmental stages, educational needs, etc… I am OVERHWLEMED every time I think about it. Seriously, just flooded with thoughts, ideas, questions, concerns, what-ifs…

Until this point I’ve flippantly said, oh, I’ll homeschool, if needed, to get everyone up to speed… But now that the time feels like it’s actually approaching, where do I even start?? And, truth be told, I don’t actually want to homeschool!

So in place of the kids being nervous about this school year, I realized that I’ve been the one carrying the burden of apprehension… Thankfully, Go spoke to me through this devotion (from Jesus Calling):  

“Anticipate coming face to face with impossibilities: situations totally beyond your ability to handle. This awareness of your inadequacy is not something you should try to evade. It is precisely where God wants you – the best place to encounter Him in His Glory & Power… Allow God to fight for you. Watch God working on your behalf, as you rest in the shadow of His presence.”

This perfectly timed message was followed by a coffee date with a dear friend who talked me down from my ledge of worry… and then a message with a video clip of the kids’ school day in Africa. Even though our children were not in the video, seeing all of the other kids was so refreshing and calmed all of my apprehensions. I now find myself in a place of rest on this topic of future schooling… Thank you, God!

“Are you tired? Worn out? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-29