The What-Ifs...?

I’m finding myself thinking about Joseph (of Mary and Joseph fame) this Christmas season. I’ve got to admit – I’ve never really given him much thought other than knowing he was a carpenter. But, for all intents and purposes, he was Jesus’ adopted father. And that’s got me thinking…

I read adoption books, blogs and articles daily. I’m having flash backs to when I was pregnant and read (and re-read) “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”. There’s so much to learn… but then I remember that when the kiddos actually come along, you usually ditch everything you read and rely solely on mommy-instincts.
 

Adoption is difficult. It’s not the ideal. The ideal is that a child is cared for, loved by and provided for by his or her own birth family… In the womb, a baby is connected to and bonding with his mother. Even if he is adopted on day one of his little life, he is going to experience sorrow from losing that connection.

So the questions and anxieties surface… Will our adopted children “attach” to us? Will they be able to recognize and mourn their loss? Will they accept me as “mom”? After spending my life raising them, will they choose to stay connected to our family or will they feel a greater connection with someone else (from their culture, country, etc.)?  

And then I remember that it doesn’t matter. I feel passionate that this is our calling. We would forever regret allowing fear to hold us back from this adoption. We'll move forward regardless of the questions and “what ifs”.

Did Joseph have questions similar to mine? Probably… Would Jesus mourn his separation from his true father (God)? Would Jesus accept him as “dad”?  Would Jesus grow up and one day leave him?

 

But regardless of the what-ifs, Joseph chose to obey the Angel of the Lord's command. He took Mary as his wife, thereby taking Jesus as his adopted son. He cared for Jesus no differently than he would have cared for a biological son… and he taught Jesus of his spiritual heritage.

I’m making the same commitment to raising children with a knowledge and understanding of their biological and spiritual heritage. What they are called to or where they choose to go as adults will be out of my hands… But I trust the Lord’s hands more than my own!

 

Matthew 1:18-21 - This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

Luke 2: 39-40 - When Jesus’ parents had fulfilled all the requirements of the law of the Lord, they returned home to Nazareth in Galilee. There the child grew up healthy and strong. He was filled with wisdom, and God’s favor was on him.